Fat and Married

I went to the Verizon store the other night to renew my cellular telephone contract and get an upgraded phone. That all worked out fine. However, I did see something kind of funny while I waiting for them to fulfill my order.

As it turns out, the good people at Verizon have figured out that attractive young hostesses help bring in the business, so they've hired just such a person for their store near Bryant Park. When you come into the store, she stands by the door, smiles, greets you, inquires into what you are looking for, and then directs you to the proper part of the store. And, yes, she is very attractive in a wholesome kind of way.

Anyway, as I was standing there waiting on my renewal rep, a large, jolly gentleman walked into the store. He closely resembled the actor Jeff Garlin, but was a bit heavier. He proudly and loudly announced to the entire store, "You've got a sale here… Who wants to make a sale??" He looked around expecting salespeople to come running up to him, but was instead met by the hostess.

She greeting him warmly asking, "What is it you are looking for, sir?" He didn't really get it, and returned her simple question with, "Are you a salesman [sic], because I'm an easy sale today, honey!?!" She took it in great stride - "I'll not a sales person. I'll get a sales person for you in a moment. What is it exactly you are looking for?" He said something about needing a cell phone, having a bad experience with T-Mobile, blah, blah, blah.

Here's the fun part. She then asked him, "What is your name, sir?" His jovial response - "My name is… Boy you are cute!" The accompanying look he gave could not have made her feel very comfortable, but you couldn't tell by her forced corporate hostess smile. As she lead him over to whatever he was looking for, he continued, "You don't have to worry about me, honey, I'm fat and married. It's OK." He then made eye contact with me and the other patrons looking for a glimmer of support. I gave him a polite smile and half-nod.

I was very relieved to hear that I now had to go to another part of the store to pick up my new phone. I was tired of staring at this car accident.