Revenge of the Sith

We finally got an opportunity to get away a bit yesterday and watch Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.

I am a big fan of the first Star Wars trilogy, but was disillusioned with Lucas' Epidsode I fiasco. I liked but didn't love Episode II. Still, none of that prevented me from dropping $14 of my hard-earned dollars for 2 adult tickets to an Episode III matinee yesterday afternoon.

I was absolutely blown away by Episode III. What an amazing moving all around! I think Lucas really outdid himself here. The movie was loaded with cool graphics, action, sabre fights, etc. Lots of movies have similar elements and still suck. What made Sith really great, though, was drama of the Anakin's tortured seduction by the dark side.

Sure, you already know more or less what's going to happen before you see the movie. You know who lives, who dies, and who ends up living with Uncle Owen on Tatooine. You know what? It doesn't matter at all. Watching the transformation from Anakin Skywalker to Darth Vader is an emotional experiece rarely acheived from watching scifi/fantasy movies.

The fact that Jar Jar Binks is seen (briefly) but not at all heard definitely helps lift the movie up. It was also much darker than perhaps any of the other Star Wars movies. Lucas definitely repented of his kid-friendly take on Star Wars demonstrated in Episode I.

Dare I commit what some might consider blasphemy? Dare I say that Sith might be the best not only of the recent trilogy, but of all 6 Star Wars movies? I'm still not 100% sure that I dare, but I am certainly tempted to think so. Perhaps I need to watch Empire again to clear my head.

More Baby Photos

For those of you who can't get enough of little Jessica Rose D'Auria and her precious punim, I've posted another 35 photos at my main site. You can link to thumbnails here or to the first new photo here.

If anyone (except perverted strangers that I don't know personally) wants a higher quality version of a particular photo for printing or whatever, drop me a line.

Meat Hangover

I am fascinated by the phenomenon of meat hangovers. You know what I'm talking about if you have ever gorged yourself on copious amounts or steak, pork, or other mammal flesh, especially in the evening.

The next day you don't feel right…No, not right at all. The closest feeling is a drinking hangover, if you are unfortunate enough to know what that feels like. You stomach feels like a canister bomb went off in there. You might have a headache or general feeling of nausea. You're probably dehydrated. And let's not even discuss what happens when you visit the toilet.

Some coworkers and I visited R.U.B. again last night (4 weeks, 4 R.U.B. meals, I am addicted). Several of us are feeling the effects of the dreaded meat hangover even as I write this. It is quite unpleasant, but so very, very worth it!

Righteous Urban Barbeque

I have not yet used this space to review any product or establishment, so perhaps this will be the start of a reviewing trend. I have now eaten R.U.B.'s exquisite BBQ cuisine 3 times and am ready to tell you, my reader, about it.

R.U.B. is a new BBQ joint located on 23rd St in NYC just west of 7th Ave. From the outside, you can see a fairly meat-oriented kitchen at work along with large loaves of white bread. From the inside, the décor is not terribly impressive - just basic seating and dull walls in a casual environment (I like to wear only an undershirt when I'm there). The real spectacle here is the food.

One look at the menu makes you keenly aware that vegetarians are not welcome here. There are a number of variations on carnivorous themes all over the menu. Over the course of my 3 R.U.B meals I have tried several of the meats and sides. I will describe and critique them here:

Pork Butt (Shoulder): This is the Holy Grail of BBQ, as far as I am concerned. In fact, if someone asks me what my favorite food is, and my answer doesn't include some variation of pork shoulder, please punch me in the face. R.U.B. does it just right. I was told cooking/smoking for a 7:00 PM serving of the butt started at something like 3:00 AM that morning. The cooking is low, slow, and smoky. The end result is crispy outside, juicy inside, and so tasty I am drooling on my shirt as I write this. It's got a great smoky sweetness with a melt-in-your mouth texture. You could add a little of their sweet BBQ sauce to the meat, but I personally think the fat on the pork makes a better sauce. You'll need a decent size crowd to eat this (and pay for it - it's $90 or so). You should also order it the day before as it is available on a limited basis. It is served whole with tongs, so you also get to enjoy the primal act of ripping the pig flesh from it's bone.

Pulled Pork: As above, but pre-shredded and seasoned with a tangy BBQ dressing that was reminiscent of East Carolina BBQ without quite being East Carolina BBQ. Absolutely exceptional.

Baby Back Ribs: Stunning flavor. They are dry-rubbed, so don't expect something goopy and falling off the bone, but man are they tasty! They exhibit a deep, rich meaty flavor complemented with a strong natural smokiness.

Deep Fried Ribs: Imagine crispy fried chicken on the outside and tender, smoky ribs on the inside. This may be one of the most delicious things I've ever had. I did mention that eating here will take 2 weeks off your life expectancy, right? By law you are required to report this activity to your life insurance company so they can adjust your rates.

Smoked Sausage: The sausage comes out sliced up into rounds (at least on a combo plate). It is loaded with a peppery flavor that balances perfectly with its smokiness. Surprisingly it isn't very greasy at all.

Brisket: Cow-lovers rejoice! It's not all swine at R.U.B. The sliced K.C. style brisket is smoky, tender, and juicy.

Burnt Ends: These are "fatty burnt ends" of the brisket. These are thick chunks rather than slices. As advertised, they are fatty, although not quite as burnt as you might imagine. They are good if you get them hot. They do tend to get chewy as they sit. You should eat fast anyway so you can cram more food in before your brain knows that it's full.

Baked Beans: The single best bean dish I have ever eaten, hands down - perhaps the best side dish I have ever eaten. The beans are cooked just to that sweet spot of tender but not mushy. They are covered in a sauce that's a complex blend of sweet, savory, and tangy flavors loaded with chunks of what appear to be brisket. Sweet mother, why aren't you running to this restaurant to get these beans?!?!

Fried Onions: Crispy, airy and light, these taste great on top of everything else. As far as I can tell, these are the only menu items that a vegetarian can eat, unless they're cooked in lard. And I wouldn't be surprised if they were cooked in lard.

Greens: Very serviceable mixed greens floating in a savory liquor along with small bits of what I believe to be pork.

Vinegar Cole Slaw: Great vinegar tang along with a very strong celery flavor. It was crunchy and chopped up nice and fine.

Fried Oreos: Basically, these are zeppole with piping hot Oreo cookies in the middle. Decadent and delicious.

The price is very fair for what you get. The portions are enormous. The staff is friendly and responsive. Overall, I am madly in love with R.U.B. and strongly recommend this establishment to all carnivores. The deal was definitely better before they got their liquor license (it was BYOB), but this has hardly diminished my love for the place.

As a side note, if you are a friend of mine or just live in NYC, let me know if you'd like to make a trip out there on a weeknight. I won't miss any reasonable opportunity to hit it up.

Of TVs and Tow Trucks

This is one of those ranting, complaining posts. I apologize if you were looking for something funny. Feel free to skip it.

So, to get my weekend started, I came home Friday night to a broken TV set. My set was an engagement gift from my mother 8 years ago. I wasn't too distraught, but with all the money I'd been spending lately I certainly didn't need another unplanned expense. And yet, there I was planning to go to Best Buy and spend a few hundred of my hard-earned dollars.

My friend Tom and I drove out to Best Buy to shop for TVs in his big, older model Mercury or some such. They had a set I was pleased enough with, so I bought it. It's nothing fancy, just another 27" JVC direct view TV. The only improvement is that it's a flat screen, which reduces the glare a bit. I get away with spending just over $300. Not too bad. We wrestle with the thing, finally taking it out of the box and into Tom's car.

I asked Tom to park in my next door neighbor's driveway, since she doesn't have a car. We have an understanding that my guests can park in her driveway without having to ask permission or anything like that (this is an important point, as you will see). We unloaded the old TV and load in the new TV pretty much without a hitch (except for the re-wrenching of my lower back - that's another rant altogether).

After that, Tom, I, and our respective wives decided to go out for dinner. Of course, we drove in my car since the carseat is setup there. When we returned, to my horror Tom's car was no longer in my neighbor's driveway. Nor was my neighbor home. There was, however, a scrape mark on the concrete where the car was.

We saw another one of my neighbors there a few minutes later, who explained that there was a "suspicious-looking car" that they had towed away. I can just see it now… My 3 neighbors (all women) talking about this strange car in the driveway. Yes, there's a cracked window, and yes, the doors were unlocked. Fine, but she knows my friends park there all the time. Why not wait for me to get home and ask me about it? Are you really that scared of there being a dead body or bomb in there? The conversation must have bordered on hysterics.

So the car was towed. I then had to call the tow company, drive Tom down to the worst industrial ghetto in Staten Island, pay $108 to for the tow fee, and sacrifice an hour of my Saturday evening in the process. Great. That's just what I needed.

Closure to the Finger Chili Mystery

In case you didn't see it elsewhere, the finger from the fraudulent Wendy's chili debacle has an owner:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7844274/

My sentencing guidelines for the judge who gets this case:

- Woman in question: Has to eat the finger and has to work at Wendy's for 5 years without pay. PLUS prison time.

- Husband: Has to stay married to her and work as an unpaid fry cook at Wendy's for 5 years. He's already in custody for something else. Nice work.

- Finger-supplying friend: Gets rest of hand taken off, but as a silver lining he gets a robotic hand a la Luke Skywalker in the end of The Empire Strikes Back.

Michael Jackson is Nuts

Groundbreaking news, I know. I normally try to avoid politics and mainstream current events on this blog, but these quotes from Jackson are too weird not to post here:

http://www.thisislondon.com/til/jsp/modules/Article/print.jsp?itemId=18573425

Chimps cleaning his ranch. Identical DNA to humans. No voice for the kids.

I am just speechless. This is comedy that writes itself.

Midgets v. Lion

Dear Sir or Madam (come on, I know women don't talk about crap like this),

Here is my input regarding your web-based query (http://lionvs40midgets.tripod.com/). I will admit, my friends and I have had MANY conversations like this, so I find this kind of debate particularly interesting:

First, your query:

What do you think the outcome between a fight between 40 midgets and 1 lion would be? Here are the terms of the fight:

• Fight takes place between 1 full-grown, male African lion and 40 midgets
• The midgets are unarmed (no guns, baseball bats, tasers, etc.)
• The fight takes place in a closed arena (a racquetball court for example)
• Fight is over when either a) the lion is dead, or b) all 40 midgets are dead
• Lion is agitated/hungry, midgets know there's no way out until the lion is dead (they have to fight).

My response:

First of all, one more assumption: the midgets get no body armor and can only wear a Tarzan-esque loincloth.

I have a house cat that weighs, I dunno, 10 lbs or so. I am not a large man, but am about the size of 2-3 midgets. I'm in pretty good shape, but am not a muscle head by any means. If the way my cat play fights is any indication, A fight to death between the 2 of us would probably result in my winning, but at a terrible cost in terms of blood, pain and suffering.

Now an African lion is basically a HUGE house cat weighing up to 200kg, or the equivalent of 45 house cats (http://www.aucklandzoo.co.nz/aucklandzoo/animal_search_detail.php?id=0). It is fast, it is strong and it is tough. I think it rips through the first 10-20 midgets in something like 60 seconds. The rest of the midgets get scared - REAL scared at that point. The lion is a tired, but not putting his guard down any time soon. A few midgets get feisty, step in, and then - BAM! - the lion kills or maims a few more. Repeat as necessary. Within 12 hours all the midgets are dead or on their way there. The lion has plenty of meat to eat, so he's in no hurry to get out of the racquetball court.

Imagine a best case for the midgets - they get one strong guy around the lion's neck and other midgets start pummeling the lion. Great. Are they really going to strangle it before the lion gets his claws up around his neck? My cat can lick his anus without even stretching out first. And as for punches, this lion can fend off crushing blows from water buffalo hooves and still be relatively OK - a couple of baby fists aren't going to even register.

Ultimately, this is a disaster of epic proportions for midget-kind. Lion: 40, Midgets: 0.

Cinco de Mayo

I never realized both how pro-American and anti-French Cinco de Mayo really is. My thanks to Eli for sending me this educational link:

http://www.vivacincodemayo.org/history.htm

So I say, true Americans, celebrate this day with our Mexican brothers in the spirit of patriotism!!

Whale of a Good Lunch

I love some things about the Japanese. Take the following quote:

"Thanks to the help from the government, we were able to offer whale meat for our children"

http://animal.discovery.com/news/afp/20050502/whalemeat.html?msn=apl_news

Ummm.... Candy!

Unlike the Wendy's story, this one is real:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7714408/

Thanks to Brian for sending me this.

Time Zones

One of my pet peeves is when well-intentioned people try to indicate the time zone when declaring a time for a particular event, but don't pay attention to the Standard / Daylight distinction. Example: If I want to setup an 11:00 AM call in my local time zone here and now, I would specify it as 11:00 AM EDT, indicating eleven AM Eastern Daylight Time. However, I often see people always using EST, indicating Eastern Standard Time, even when we are on Eastern Daylight Time.

It's really the little things in life than can get deep under one's skin.

Truly Random Thoughts

- Tex Avery is the greatest cartoonist of his or any generation, bar none.

- A DVR is a life-changing device. If you ever watch TV or even own a TV, just get one. If you don't watch TV, you are aware that there is an invention called television, and that on this invention they show shows, right?

- Dates are delicious!

- The new Family Guy - very, very solid. American Dad - not solid at all. A bit too politically abrasive. Also, the humorless hippie daughter is about the worst character I've ever seen on a TV show.

- I watch utterly too much television. Having to feed the baby every night is conducive to it.

- Annoying names to call people, from best to worst: Hoss, Sport, Chief, Buddy, Boss, Big Guy.

- Your teeth have ligaments, apparently, and it is possible to damage them.