Hand Lotion

Why don't they make a hand lotion that doesn't have a girly smell to it? Men get dry hands. The Winter (may it end soon) is rough on everyone's skin. Don't I have a right, as a man, to relief from dry, cracked skin? So why market these products only to women by making them all smell like flowers? It seems that even good old neutral vaseline hand lotion has gone all girl smelly on me.

Perhaps, you might say, the ingredients that are used to lube hands are so awful smelling that they need to be masked lest you be assailed by a pack of wild dingos. Fair enough. But why not use more manly aromas to cover it up? Might I suggest the following fragrances for macho hand lotion:

- Bacon / ham / steak or other meat of choice (might not help with dingo problem)
- Garlic
- Old Spice
- Money
- Gasoline
- Cigar / pipe smoke
- Gunpowder