Extra Arms

I think it would be so awesome to just have an extra pair of arms located below your regular arms. If you've ever tried to screw something together the advantages become immediately obvious.

I don't even care if I am the only one with the extra arms. Yes, I'd be mocked and perhaps feared as a freak - but so what? Life's hard for everyone. At least this way I'd have the extra arms.

I can see many, many benefits in the following areas, to name a few:

- Mechanical tasks: aforemention screwing tasks, e.g.
- Computer use: imagine, 2 mice and one keyboard at the same time!
- Lovemaking: use your imagination here
- Fighting: a la Goro from Mortal Kombat
- General multitasking: scratching while reading, driving while changing stations, etc.

Chiropractors

My back hurts. It's bothered me since high school, but it's been getting worse lately. I think I may see a chiropractor. I'm still not 100% convinced that it's a good idea.

Also, I'm not too big on the idea of having to interview a "medical" practitioner to find out if he or she is a quack or not. I like people working on my body to be safely in the "not quack" camp.

Anyone out there (of the 3 people that actually read this blog) want to give me some tips on picking a chiropractor or have a specific one you can recommend in or near Staten Island, NY?

I am Dave Price's Doppelganger

Have you ever watched the CBS Early Show with Dave Price? I have been told that I look like him (see below... that's me). So, in light of that fact, I just sent the following email to him care of the CBS Early Show. Should be interesting to see the reply...

Dear Mr. Price,

Hello. My name is Andrew D'Auria. The reason I am writing to you is because I believe, and have heard from some of my friends and acquaintances, that I am your spitting image. I have attached an photo of myself so that you too can appreciate the resemblance.

You and I should consider how our similar appearances can be used to our mutual advantage. For example, as a journalist of sorts I am sure you know that Saddam Hussein used look alikes to stand in for him at certain public appearances and functions. I could be your doppelganger in situations where your life could potentially be in danger. I would need to be adequately compensated, of course, but therein lies the "mutual" part of this relationship.

I would also consider covering your shifts on The Early Show. I am an outgoing person who would not be shy in front of the camera. No one watching would suspect a thing, and you would be able to take a few days off here and there without having to use your vacation days. You could either pay me for this service, or alternatively you could fill in for me on my job as a Sales Engineer of security software. It's really not that hard and I'm sure you could handle it.

Please consider this matter and reply to this email if you are interested.

Sincerely,

Andrew D'Auria

P.S. Despite ample opportunity, I have not yet taken advantage of my appearance to earn money as a Dave Price celebrity look alike for hire. I have far too much respect for you and our sacred bond to do such a thing.

More Jessica Photos

For your viewing pleasure. Direct links are here for Christmas photos and here for other photos.

And yes, I am aware that the link for Christmas photos says "Christmas06." I'm just far too lazy to fix it.

You can always get links to the latest Jessica photos here.

Best thing ever!

Today New York City (pronounce the "c" as "sh") received, I dunno, a crapload and a half of snow. I hate the filthy stuff with passion. I spent well over an hour today on snow removal related tasks, and my property is the size of a postage stamp.

Nonetheless, my life is made so much more tolerable by the fact that I don't have to commute into the city tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow is one of my work from home days. Truly, working from home is the best thing ever.

My Newest Hero

Warning: Slight offensive image (if you can't handle seeing someone flipping "the bird" or can't handle a little blood, skip it):

This guy is my new hero. Check out the picture and read the account in his own words.