My Superior Walking Skills

Despite my tiny legs I walk very fast. In fact, I can say pretty safely that I walk faster than you.

By what benchmark do I measure myself so that I can make such bold claims unabashedly? Well, for one thing, during the 10 years I worked in Manhattan, everyone in front of me - EVERYONE - was in my way all the time. In fact, it was a major source of frustration for me. And that there's by NYC standards.

Even now, however, what I've consistently noticed in airports is that I can walk faster off the moving walkways than people walking on the moving walkways. There was a woman just the other day who looked to be in a quite a hurry. She was next to me, but walking on the moving walkway. She was huffing along trying to make a plane. As I strolled next to her at my normal pace I easily overtook her and then increased the distance between us. And mind you I was not on the moving walkway.

Now, if I do happen to hop on the moving walkway at the airport, I am absolutely magnificent in my walking ability. I am probably breaking 10 mph on that thing if I had to guess. I'm pretty sure I could overtake a gazelle without breaking into a run, if it came down to it (and the gazelle was walking parallel to the moving walkway).

Why do I walk so fast? I don't know for sure, but I'm willing to bet it has its roots in some deep seated personality trait like chronic impatience or insecurity about being late. Maybe I'll go out for the Olympic power walking team one of these day.